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Ipswich Town Reserves 2-1 Arsenal Reserves Tue 13th Nov 2001 23:27
by your Official Reporter, ColdGit@Reserves.
I have promised to be more direct. Here goes:

Darren Bent is an absolute gem. I've been saying all season that he should be in the first team and a really gamey brace tonight, leaving the winning goal till the 90th minute, will surely have clinched that exciting, fully justified reality.

A promising young Arsenal team had led, at the interval, via their dainty young centre-forward, Jermaine Brown, begloved and with corn-row hair (is that what you call it?) who took advantage of the temporary absence upfield of attack-minded Thomas Gaardsoe, to beat man-in-black Andy Marshall with a breakaway goal after 35 mins.

As crowd favourite Darren would have said afterwards, had I been able to speak to him, "I should have had at least a hat-trick, Old Git, with two half-chances just before the half hour mark, the second of which I tapped into the goalie's ample bosom - was it Richard Wright? And then, five minutes into the second half, Brian, I gently, deftly, accurately, oh no, tickled one over the bar. So far, this season, I should have scored an Axeldahl of reserve match goals."

It took an hour for Bent to strike, but it was worth waiting for. In the area, he was moving left, but flicked the ball inside his man, then curled it round the goalie and inside the right post. You beauty. 1-1.

At the death, his second goal was another peachy plum, partly because of the pin-point quality of excellent Darren Ambrose's cross from the right; all Bent had to do was control it and tuck it away, again inside the right post. He looks like Finidi George, but it's time for Finidi to take his hat off to Darren; both Darrens, for that matter: Ambrose is of the same school: eager, direct, a winner. 2-1.

Don't let's get too warmed up, though; it wasn't that sort of night for all of us. The Darrens were beacons in the mist. Urgent Yoof Ambrose replaced anonymous Nicholls after an hour, allowing begloved Nabil Abbadabba to come in from the cold on the wing into central midfield, where he continued to show delightful touch but ineffective overall impact.

Yet, in an uncertain, bump-into-things world, it was re-assuring to lie back and accept the freezing embrace - an average FPR temperature tonight of 7 degrees Celsius, whatever celcius is, but, as your Official Reporter, I have to accept that I have a worldwide audience and mustn't mention good old Fahrenheit. Mother said it was cold in Sydney today but I promise you that a couple of hours at damp Portman Road tonight would have reminded her why she emigrated 36 years ago, (and, with a worldwide audience, it is nice for them that I should make an international reference)...and yet I still cannot say, 'in Sydney' without pangs of Carry On double entendre...whoops, digressionamundo...the freezing embrace of a November evening at the Reserves, with the bizarre guarantee of safety created by a report on the BBC saying that Osama Bin Laden is an Arsenal fan. We're watching Arsenal Reserves (though this is only the official title of this team. The term has come to mean, in general conversation, something quite different: 'the team you put out against teams like Ipswich or Worthington Cup opponents.' I doubt that any of Arsenal's team tonight will ever play in the Premiership for them. Surreal. Their Yoof winger, Jerome Thomas - all their Yoof's forward line has 'J' first names - was their gem. Fabian found him to be 'unstoppable'. Umm, that doesn't make Thomas unique, though, does it? Come on Fab, shave that carpet sample off the top of your head, and play a bit. You're only up against Chris Makin.)

I'm not really digressing. It was a match without passion, without much meaning. Without Bent actually winning the match, it would have been very ho-hum, but he was this week's 'Mumo' Peralta, who was the emerging star of my last Reserves Report, and who, so soon after, is October's Third Best Player Of The Month.

In the absence of Mumo, Tommy Miller was given the opportunity to audition for Jim Magilton's shirt, but he took an early knock and that perhaps stunted his growth. Miller was derisory about Sir George's audacity, in playing 'the best midfielder in the Nationwide' on the wing; it's because Our Tom shares Our Jim's fear of wide open spaces. He feels that that circle around the centre of the pitch is there for a reason, and, tonight, he never left it. In fairness, he can sweep the ball about, though it's a little laboured, as are all his movements, as if he's a middleweight boxer with heavy legs (like Reuser, who we're coming to.)

Our team was:
Marshall
Wilnis — Gaardsoe - Justin Miller (c) - 'Gary'
Abbadabba - Tommy Miller - Ashley Nicholls - REUSER!!!!!!
Bent - 'Log' Logan

Burley on Le Pen Tue 13th Nov 2001 12:24
George Burley says Town expect to have their latest foreign transfer signed and sealed later today, although the Town boss refused to go as far as confirming that the mystery player is indeed Ulrich Le Pen, as now seems all but certain.

Trundle Link Thu 08th Nov 2001 13:05
The latest not entirely convincing Town link is with Wrexham striker Lee Trundle. The 25-year-old signed for Wrexham from Rhyl in February this year and has scored 11 goals in the 25 matches (plus 2 as sub) he has played in since.

Transfer for Baxter Wed 07th Nov 2001 14:31
Town have announced that Radio Suffolk commentator Terry Baxter is to join the club in December as Press Manager. Baxter, a lifelong Town fan, has been the regular commentator on Radio Suffolk throughout the last few years and has forged memorable partnerships with the likes of Lee Bracey and now Kevin Beattie.

Phil's Helsingborg Diary 3 Fri 02nd Nov 2001 10:33
Sorry for the somewhat tardy delivery of today's diary. Like most here I spent a sizeable proportion of the evening celebrating last night's fantastic win. The Blue Army are a bit quieter this morning with hangovers to nurse and planes to catch.

Helsingborgs IF 1-3 Town Thu 01st Nov 2001 23:07
An evening which showed the best and worst of Town finally ended with a well-deserved and triumphant 3-1 victory for the Blues. Hermann Hreidarsson's second goal in two games and two from Marcus Stewart won a game for Town after the worst of possible starts.

Phil's Helsingborg Diary Wed 31st Oct 2001 10:35
It's bit windy here, but I suppose that isn't surprising as we're right on the coast. Friends back home have enquired if there is snow on the ground and “minus how much is it there?”, but as yet we're yet to feel the kind of chill you feel on a terrace in mid-January.

Southampton 3 - 3 Town Thu 25th Oct 2001 01:46
Town drew their fourth consecutive match as the Blues twice came from two goals down to end the game 3-3. It was an exciting encounter with the home side looking like they would score with every attempt, and a return to last year's form in the second half for Town.

Finidi Out Till Christmas Sun 21st Oct 2001 23:25
Finidi George will be out until Christmas after suffering a depressed fracture in the tenth minute of today's game with Fulham at Craven Cottage.

Malster Solicitor on Latest Appeal Fri 19th Oct 2001 10:36
Rose Malster's solicitor Richard Buxton has commented on the latest action he and his client are taking against the new North Stand. Last week it emerged that Malster is to attempt to take her appeal over the council's decision to grant permission for the new stand to the European Court, a process which could halt work on the stand.

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